[[Neo]] 105

Sometimes, I see something happen in my life, and I think "wtf? Why is this happening? This can't possibly be good in comparison to everything else that is going on." But then I sit back and see what happens, and realize that everything that has happened, happened, and couldn't have happened any other way. Why? Because I'm still alive.

Is it a belief in fate? No, probably not. I don't like to believe in fate, for the same reason that Neo doesn't in the movie The Matrix: "I don't like that idea that I'm not in control of my own life." At the same time, I also believe that God knows what's going to happen in your life, all the time. And while I believe in that, I also believe in Free Will.

I've done discussion posts on these thoughts before, but nothing in a blog that attempts to link Free Will, with God's ability to know your path, and this other thing...the psuedo-fate deal. So I'll start with that.

Throughout my life, I had always tried to control the variables, so that I would get the desired results. Most of the time, I got one of several hundred right. There are simply too many variables to account for, and most of the time, they're variables that you don't have any ability to control anyway - they're other people.

There was a major event in my life that was the ultimate failure of character...and that event lead me down a long journey to learn how I was supposed to act and treat people. And it was a journey in the opposite direction from which I had already been traveling.

I learned that people are going to do what people are going to do, and there is nothing you can do about it. I may offer a sensible word to them, that they may or may not consider on their path, and may or may not choose to heed. But in general you just have to accept that there is little you can do about the path that someone else's life is on, beyond setting an example and encouragement. As much as you might want to, you can't make anyone do anything. They have to be willing to submit to your direction.

This lesson taught me a lot about how to interact with other people. Once I figured out that they're going to do what they want regardless, I stopped worrying about what I did/didn't do to cause such deviation from the intended path. Once I could stop worrying about them, I started to focus on the deviations in my own life. All the things that are thrown at me, that some would consider problems, on a daily basis: money issues, health issues, social issues, and responsibility issues.

But the funny thing about those issues is that is all they are: issues. Like issues of a magazine that you can read at your leisure. Every kind of problem that you have in your life has come for a reason. Usually that reason will be due to poor decision making on someone's part - probably your's somewhere along the line. And they're generally nothing to get worked up about. Here's where it gets linked...

Because I know that the issue is probably my fault, I then look back on what could be the source of said problem, and find out what decision I made that was incorrect...take note of it...and don't make that same mistake in the future. Once I have found out what mistake it was, I realize that I have set my own kind of "fate"...I've chosen my own short-term destiny in this matter. Bad decisions will circle around, just as your sin will find you out. So I generally take time to reflect each evening before I go to bed. I reflect on what I did during the day, what I didn't do, what I should have done better, but also on what was said throughout the day to me and by me. Often times I find something incongruent with my intentions, and I do my best to rectify it then or as soon as possible.

Knowing that I am the cause of most of the issues I have in my life, I am ok with that - I can handle the problems that I cause (it's the problems that other people cause me that I tend to look at with a little more disdain)...and I take the problems at face value, or less. I know there is no good that can come from worrying about those problems to no end...and the sooner I can find a solution, then the sooner my problem will no longer be an issue in my life.

All my decision making, good and bad, is due to the fact that we have free will in our lives. We make the decisions that chart our life's map, and we bear the consequences good and bad along the way. God on the other hand already has a path charted out on your life's map that he would like for you to follow. It's marked in a bold red marker the correct path to take. But along that path there are dots on it that have a decision for you to make. It is then that things start to get crazy...

The ideal person would come to know Christ at an early age, and gain wisdom shortly after, to seek God's counsel in all their life decisions. But since that is not the case, and we are free-spirited and sinful people, we tend to want to do things our own way for a while to see how it goes. So we don't bother asking God for direction on this one decision, we say "I've got this one God *wink*, I'll get'cha on the next one." God then says "wtf? ....n00b." But lets you do it your own way because he has always known what took me so long to figure out - "you're gonna do what you're gonna do." And he has made it a point not to take over someone's life without them asking him into it.

So you make your decisions, and you get off track and lost in the decision tree...far off the main trunk of the path that God had for you. All the paths lead out to the same destination - the end...but it's the journey along the way that God had picked out for you. Some of the branches are shorter...some are longer. Some have grown into another. But the funny thing is...even though you're a "n00b @ life", God still loves you.

That was another lesson I had to learn. To love unconditionally. I wasn't ever sure what that was about until I figured out everything else first. It's a different kind of Love that he has for us. The kind that says "you know what...no matter what you do, I'll always be able to forgive you. Heck, I even sent my son to die for you, hoping you'd love me even just a little bit. Why would I ever say no?" So even if you're way off the right path that God had for you, because of some jacked up decisions you made in life, you can always say "HEY!!! HELP!! I bucked it up big time God...my bad, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Here I am, I'm done trying to do it my way, I'm in over my head, and I screwed up. I'm not gonna do anything, but seek your Word on what comes next."


So, this didn't turn out to be the kind of post I started out writing...but I think it ended up better. Just another one of those things that happens for a reason, I guess. Maybe someone will read this - maybe *you* (yeah, you reading this) needed to hear it. Maybe it'll help you. I know it helped me to write it. I hope it helps.