People that have known me for a while, and who I have bothered to let in on the details of my personal life, would probably tell you that I don't like to make mistakes...not in work, not in fun, and not in relationships. I choose carefully what my next move will be, and often a couple moves in advance.
Those same people may also tell you that I tend to jump right in and perhaps "fall too fast" when it comes to things I like...or people I like. But that's the superficial perspective of it. There's no "falling" involved at all.
I don't like to back-track and have to re-learn, or re-do anything in life. To me that is a waste of time. I would much rather ask someone that already knows the answer, so I can take note, and move forward, or spend some time figuring out what the possible answers are, and what their consequences would be. I do this in work, and in my hobbies, and in relationships.
I'm more interested in writing about various relationships tonight, though, so I'll focus on that for this post.
People that see me dive right in to something with someone else are missing an important part of the picture - the part where I have already turned down the other options. It's rare that I date anyone - hell, it's even rare that I hang out with new people at all, let alone a girl. But that is because if I don't foresee any beneficial relationship - whether friendship with compatible personalities, or whatever, I don't bother - because there won't be any point to us being around each other.
The same goes for dating. I don't even bother accepting, or asking, or even considering going on a date with a person that I couldn't see spending a lot of my time with in the near (or distant) future. Why waste their time on me, or my time on them, when I would know from the start that it wasn't going to work in my mind?
My most valued currency is my time - if I choose to spend the non-refundable, limited, and cherished time on earth with someone...I consider them to be worth being around...worth respecting. With friendships, and relationships, I am always up for spending whatever free time I have that is not alloted to anything else with those people. I consider it a good investment of myself and my time to include them in my life. (Whether or not they feel the same is a different story - I try to make it worth their while though)
But in a relationship things are a little different. As with not wasting time by dating someone I couldn't see myself with...I also do not waste time by dating more than one person at the same time. That is, in effect, to me, saying "I don't really see you as someone that I could totally be with - there's this other thing that this other person has that I want...but I still want you too." No, sir.
If I pick someone to date, it's because I'm choosing that person, and them alone, to spend my time and thoughts, and feelings on. They have my full attention in that aspect of my life, and I give them nothing less. Conversely, I require their full attention in that aspect of their life as well...otherwise, it's a waste of time, and even disrespect.
I've known people that have decided they wanted something different while they were with someone else...so they cheated. I've known people who were the ones that supposedly didn't have everything their partner wanted. And I've been one of those people as well...one who was cheated on.
The person that cheated on me didn't have the same effect on me as my other friends who got cheated on - and with me, it's because I look at things a little differently. She cheated, told her friend, and lied about it to me. Her friend told me, and she still denied it. Personally, if someone wants to cheat on me - so be it. You're going to do what you're going to do, and there's nothing I can do about it. But don't expect to ever hear from me again. Don't expect to even be treated like a person again.
(This goes back to some earlier posts that I may or may not have made public - but being lied to, or discarded with disregard to the time I spent on someone is instant loss of my respect for them as a person. But that is another post altogether.)
However, that is the case for that individual. I don't let one dumbass girl influence my trust for the others that come along. And it's a hard point to come to in your ability to trust people...but that's where I've been for a while - and what I've always told people: "I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to." But that's my view on it - I'm compartmentalized about things in life.
Other people that I have known who were cheated on felt worthless...like they were not enough of a person to satisfy the one that they thought loved them...so how could they satisfy anyone else that didn't already love them? That's baloney. It does feel that way - but it's not true.
And that's because the person that said they loved you, doesn't know what love is...doesn't have the maturity to stick with what is started, or end what is in progress before trying to start something new. Sure it turns out to be that time spent, gone, and never gotten back - but cut the losses early, instead of wasting someone else's time by overlapping a relationship - that's even worse. There are psychological and emotional effects that can last a whole lot longer than if they had just broken up with them in the first place.
I spent 10 years watching other people screw up their relationships...and 10 years helping people figure out what went wrong with their relationship, and helping them put it back together...helping encourage the people who were broken...helping encourage the people that wanted to start something new in their life but didn't know how. And helping break down the walls of distrust and miscommunication to fix issues from within the relationships instead of trying to find answers on the outside somewhere.
I've seen what it does to people, and I've seen the ignorance that it takes to do something so stupid - and I've never done it, and never intend to - I'd even go so far as to say I never will. If I pick you, you've got my attention...and you've got it until you let go - because I won't until you do. So you've got nothing to fear...
I wouldn't ask you to trust me, if I didn't trust you.
8.26.2007
8.22.2007
[[Neo]] 108
I'd have to say that I'm pretty much an introvert. Sure I can be social, hold a conversation, listen intently, and then spit back everything that you've ever said to me...often times holding people accountable for what they said they'd do (in passing). But there's more to it...
I go through my day listening to everyone's everything, and hearing their problems and proposed solutions. When I hear someone having a problem, I recall all the solutions that I have heard about similar issues in the past, and if they are at a loss, I step in. I let my ears wander in and out of nearly everything they can reach. I look into what people are actually telling each other, what they think they are experiencing, and what they feel like they are going through in their life.
It's easy for me to put myself in their shoes and walk around for a bit - it's part of being a Gemini...not that I believe in the Astrology business, but that they tend to be a good guideline for a person's personality. (using it to predict the future is for the birds though.)
But I digress. During the day though, I only have so much social mana that I can spend on being around people. If I'm around only one person, I only have to focus on what they're saying/doing/feeling...and I don't spend it all up, so I'm available to do a whole lot more with them, and more often. But when I'm around several people, like at a small party or a LAN Party, I am usually done by the time night falls. I've had to give my attention to several people at once, and my social mana is spent much quicker. By the end of the night, I'm quiet, and trying to recharge, enough to continue until the event is done. But events like QuakeCon where there are people that I do not have much relation with, who require attention on a massive level to form their perception of my personality in a matter of hours, I am usually spent after a couple hours with them, and ready to go home.
This is why I go home at night, and rarely do anything. I sit at home, alone in the dim light...usually cooling off, because I'm burning up, but just doing something by myself that I enjoy, or with close friends that I don't have to give my attention to constantly. I have to have a point in time where I can remove myself from the issues of the day, and relocate myself to a place I call home, in order to recenter my thoughts, and reset my attitude in preparation for the issues of the next day.
I use my time at the end of the day to reflect on everything that happened during the day - it's not uncommon for me to even recall something that was said at lunch that I did not react appropriately to, and I have to go back and do damage control or whatever is needed to show that I actually heard and cared about what was said, but that it was just buffered and delayed-writing to my brain. At night before I sleep, I think about the past, and think about the possibilities that could stem from the decisions and plans made from the day...once I have come to terms with everything that has happened, that uses up the last bit of brain activity that I have, and then I fall asleep.
There's a peek into the mind of [[Neo]] as he goes throughout the day. There are close friends that he's already in tune with that don't require much focus...and there are individuals that he hangs out with one-on-one that get all of his focus. Those are the people that end up meaning the most to him. When attention is divided among a small group, or a large group, their respective meaning in his life is proportionate. It's nothing personal...that's just the way he's built.
I go through my day listening to everyone's everything, and hearing their problems and proposed solutions. When I hear someone having a problem, I recall all the solutions that I have heard about similar issues in the past, and if they are at a loss, I step in. I let my ears wander in and out of nearly everything they can reach. I look into what people are actually telling each other, what they think they are experiencing, and what they feel like they are going through in their life.
It's easy for me to put myself in their shoes and walk around for a bit - it's part of being a Gemini...not that I believe in the Astrology business, but that they tend to be a good guideline for a person's personality. (using it to predict the future is for the birds though.)
But I digress. During the day though, I only have so much social mana that I can spend on being around people. If I'm around only one person, I only have to focus on what they're saying/doing/feeling...and I don't spend it all up, so I'm available to do a whole lot more with them, and more often. But when I'm around several people, like at a small party or a LAN Party, I am usually done by the time night falls. I've had to give my attention to several people at once, and my social mana is spent much quicker. By the end of the night, I'm quiet, and trying to recharge, enough to continue until the event is done. But events like QuakeCon where there are people that I do not have much relation with, who require attention on a massive level to form their perception of my personality in a matter of hours, I am usually spent after a couple hours with them, and ready to go home.
This is why I go home at night, and rarely do anything. I sit at home, alone in the dim light...usually cooling off, because I'm burning up, but just doing something by myself that I enjoy, or with close friends that I don't have to give my attention to constantly. I have to have a point in time where I can remove myself from the issues of the day, and relocate myself to a place I call home, in order to recenter my thoughts, and reset my attitude in preparation for the issues of the next day.
I use my time at the end of the day to reflect on everything that happened during the day - it's not uncommon for me to even recall something that was said at lunch that I did not react appropriately to, and I have to go back and do damage control or whatever is needed to show that I actually heard and cared about what was said, but that it was just buffered and delayed-writing to my brain. At night before I sleep, I think about the past, and think about the possibilities that could stem from the decisions and plans made from the day...once I have come to terms with everything that has happened, that uses up the last bit of brain activity that I have, and then I fall asleep.
There's a peek into the mind of [[Neo]] as he goes throughout the day. There are close friends that he's already in tune with that don't require much focus...and there are individuals that he hangs out with one-on-one that get all of his focus. Those are the people that end up meaning the most to him. When attention is divided among a small group, or a large group, their respective meaning in his life is proportionate. It's nothing personal...that's just the way he's built.
8.14.2007
[[Neo]] 107
So, I was thinking...no actually I wasn't. I wasn't doing anything.
I do that alot. While other people are running around in their lives, I'm sitting here patiently waiting, thinking, watching. For what? I don't know. For what ever happens. And it's usually a lot that happens.
For example, there have been times that I have been sitting, and hear a simple noise - it leads me to think about what could be making that noise, what color does that noise represent to me, what is something of that color that could be making that noise, what is that something's color, what kind of things would give rise to that something making that noise, what if I were there watching it make its noise, what would I then do, what would the consequences of those actions or non-actions be, and what would I do about those consequences?
It's those kind of thought-trains that lead me to think about all kinds of things, and foresee all kinds of events before they ever happen. Once I have analyzed an event and its consequences, it is then stored away forever (usually) to be recalled at a later date when such an event occurs.
That is why I have a quick wit, and an answer for almost everything...regardless of how accurate it is. I have taken the time, ahead of time, to think about the situation I'm in, and formulate a response accordingly. I've been doing this for years, so you can imagine how many responses I have built up over that period of time.
I'd encourage everyone who believes they do not have enough time in the day, to not plan something for a particular evening...an evening when you don't already have anything else planned...one in which you can come home, and be in the quiet - undisturbed by anyone.
Ponder your existence...ponder your choices...ponder your plans and goals...ponder the direction you're currently traveling...ponder the things on which you have no business pondering - the things you know nothing about - formulate your own conjectures about those things, and then try to poke holes in those reasons...then try to fill in the holes left by the answers you negated.
When you have done this with the things of your life, then you will start to see that there is nothing too difficult that can come at you through the course of your day, week, month, life...because you've already taken the time to accept those events, greet them, and offer your solution - a well tested solution, since you've already poked the holes and filled them in.
You don't have to always have all the answers - all you really need is to have already thought about the question. Try it...you'll be amazed what limitlessness your mind can consider. You may even learn something you never knew before, just by thinking. I've done it...you can to.
Let me know how it goes for you.
I do that alot. While other people are running around in their lives, I'm sitting here patiently waiting, thinking, watching. For what? I don't know. For what ever happens. And it's usually a lot that happens.
For example, there have been times that I have been sitting, and hear a simple noise - it leads me to think about what could be making that noise, what color does that noise represent to me, what is something of that color that could be making that noise, what is that something's color, what kind of things would give rise to that something making that noise, what if I were there watching it make its noise, what would I then do, what would the consequences of those actions or non-actions be, and what would I do about those consequences?
It's those kind of thought-trains that lead me to think about all kinds of things, and foresee all kinds of events before they ever happen. Once I have analyzed an event and its consequences, it is then stored away forever (usually) to be recalled at a later date when such an event occurs.
That is why I have a quick wit, and an answer for almost everything...regardless of how accurate it is. I have taken the time, ahead of time, to think about the situation I'm in, and formulate a response accordingly. I've been doing this for years, so you can imagine how many responses I have built up over that period of time.
I'd encourage everyone who believes they do not have enough time in the day, to not plan something for a particular evening...an evening when you don't already have anything else planned...one in which you can come home, and be in the quiet - undisturbed by anyone.
Ponder your existence...ponder your choices...ponder your plans and goals...ponder the direction you're currently traveling...ponder the things on which you have no business pondering - the things you know nothing about - formulate your own conjectures about those things, and then try to poke holes in those reasons...then try to fill in the holes left by the answers you negated.
When you have done this with the things of your life, then you will start to see that there is nothing too difficult that can come at you through the course of your day, week, month, life...because you've already taken the time to accept those events, greet them, and offer your solution - a well tested solution, since you've already poked the holes and filled them in.
You don't have to always have all the answers - all you really need is to have already thought about the question. Try it...you'll be amazed what limitlessness your mind can consider. You may even learn something you never knew before, just by thinking. I've done it...you can to.
Let me know how it goes for you.
8.13.2007
[[Neo]] 106
Something I learned growing up, was that if you tell someone you're going to do something, you had better bust your ass with everything in your ability having been tried before you go back on your word. A man's word is his livelihood.
Once I started learning that, I learned that you can't point out the speck of dust in your brother's eye, when you have a plank stuck in your own. Pull out the plank in your eye so you can better see how to remove the speck from your brother's.
Those two ideals combined are what drive me today. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, do something, or live a particular way - I bust my ass to make it happen, even if I don't want to when the time comes. Otherwise, I'm a liar.
Sure there are times when things come up, like you die or get sick or something. But generally, it's because someone more important on your priority list has requested the same block of time, for something they would like you to do...and you, favoring them more, cancel what you had previously said you'd do.
This weekend, I saw the results of 3 different tests I put on my friends. Two of those results were passing...one failed. I waited all week to see if BinaryAngel was actually going to invite me to hang out with her friends...to give me an address for the various locations that we were to be, and the times at which we were to meet. She did, and I was glad. The second test...to see if Sunny would stick with her plans to go out on Saturday night, or if she'd cancel at the last minute. We did go out, and we had a blast.
The third test will remain unnamed because the person failed. She said one thing, and her actions did another. It was something that I outwardly ignored and appeared not to notice - but saw everything. I always see everything...I always hear everything - and this time, I felt it beforehand.
I'm used to my friends canceling their plans on me. It's something I have come to expect when I schedule things. Generally I'm around people (in the past at least) that would like to schedule all these adventures and grand events, some for my website, some for being social. And when it came down to the last couple days before it, they would back out, citing some kind of family, money, or interest issue - throwing away all the time, thought, and money involved in the event.
So now, I don't care so much what people say to me - they're just words. When I am with someone I care about, I am equally as content, if not more, simply being with them, sitting together, quietly. I can tell what feelings are there by the things that they do...a simple hand-hold, sitting close, a smile...even just a particular sigh. All those things convey positive intent. Avoiding eye contact, poor posture, appearance of existence...even just a particular sigh. All those things are negative. So I try to spend time with people as much as I can, to see where they are with things. I only speak to learn information.
When they speak, I see their words in plain text - no colors, no imagery, little meaning. I see intentions, right through the mask of "carefully" arranged words...I see direction in the conversation, right through "carefully" obscured statements...and I feel their perception, through the slight and subtle body language movements. I look directly into your eyes, to read your very purpose.
It is for this reason, I do not consider what people say to me as being their purpose of character. I consider more carefully what it is that they do. Their actions are what define them...their words are what gives them color. I am not interested in the colors, I am more concerned with definitions. A black and white photo can convey just as much, or more, meaning than a color photo. A person who says nothing, but does right by those around them is a better person than one who says all the right things, but does not act in accord with their words.
What kind of person are you?
Once I started learning that, I learned that you can't point out the speck of dust in your brother's eye, when you have a plank stuck in your own. Pull out the plank in your eye so you can better see how to remove the speck from your brother's.
Those two ideals combined are what drive me today. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, do something, or live a particular way - I bust my ass to make it happen, even if I don't want to when the time comes. Otherwise, I'm a liar.
Sure there are times when things come up, like you die or get sick or something. But generally, it's because someone more important on your priority list has requested the same block of time, for something they would like you to do...and you, favoring them more, cancel what you had previously said you'd do.
This weekend, I saw the results of 3 different tests I put on my friends. Two of those results were passing...one failed. I waited all week to see if BinaryAngel was actually going to invite me to hang out with her friends...to give me an address for the various locations that we were to be, and the times at which we were to meet. She did, and I was glad. The second test...to see if Sunny would stick with her plans to go out on Saturday night, or if she'd cancel at the last minute. We did go out, and we had a blast.
The third test will remain unnamed because the person failed. She said one thing, and her actions did another. It was something that I outwardly ignored and appeared not to notice - but saw everything. I always see everything...I always hear everything - and this time, I felt it beforehand.
I'm used to my friends canceling their plans on me. It's something I have come to expect when I schedule things. Generally I'm around people (in the past at least) that would like to schedule all these adventures and grand events, some for my website, some for being social. And when it came down to the last couple days before it, they would back out, citing some kind of family, money, or interest issue - throwing away all the time, thought, and money involved in the event.
So now, I don't care so much what people say to me - they're just words. When I am with someone I care about, I am equally as content, if not more, simply being with them, sitting together, quietly. I can tell what feelings are there by the things that they do...a simple hand-hold, sitting close, a smile...even just a particular sigh. All those things convey positive intent. Avoiding eye contact, poor posture, appearance of existence...even just a particular sigh. All those things are negative. So I try to spend time with people as much as I can, to see where they are with things. I only speak to learn information.
When they speak, I see their words in plain text - no colors, no imagery, little meaning. I see intentions, right through the mask of "carefully" arranged words...I see direction in the conversation, right through "carefully" obscured statements...and I feel their perception, through the slight and subtle body language movements. I look directly into your eyes, to read your very purpose.
It is for this reason, I do not consider what people say to me as being their purpose of character. I consider more carefully what it is that they do. Their actions are what define them...their words are what gives them color. I am not interested in the colors, I am more concerned with definitions. A black and white photo can convey just as much, or more, meaning than a color photo. A person who says nothing, but does right by those around them is a better person than one who says all the right things, but does not act in accord with their words.
What kind of person are you?
8.12.2007
[[Neo]] 105
Sometimes, I see something happen in my life, and I think "wtf? Why is this happening? This can't possibly be good in comparison to everything else that is going on." But then I sit back and see what happens, and realize that everything that has happened, happened, and couldn't have happened any other way. Why? Because I'm still alive.
Is it a belief in fate? No, probably not. I don't like to believe in fate, for the same reason that Neo doesn't in the movie The Matrix: "I don't like that idea that I'm not in control of my own life." At the same time, I also believe that God knows what's going to happen in your life, all the time. And while I believe in that, I also believe in Free Will.
I've done discussion posts on these thoughts before, but nothing in a blog that attempts to link Free Will, with God's ability to know your path, and this other thing...the psuedo-fate deal. So I'll start with that.
Throughout my life, I had always tried to control the variables, so that I would get the desired results. Most of the time, I got one of several hundred right. There are simply too many variables to account for, and most of the time, they're variables that you don't have any ability to control anyway - they're other people.
There was a major event in my life that was the ultimate failure of character...and that event lead me down a long journey to learn how I was supposed to act and treat people. And it was a journey in the opposite direction from which I had already been traveling.
I learned that people are going to do what people are going to do, and there is nothing you can do about it. I may offer a sensible word to them, that they may or may not consider on their path, and may or may not choose to heed. But in general you just have to accept that there is little you can do about the path that someone else's life is on, beyond setting an example and encouragement. As much as you might want to, you can't make anyone do anything. They have to be willing to submit to your direction.
This lesson taught me a lot about how to interact with other people. Once I figured out that they're going to do what they want regardless, I stopped worrying about what I did/didn't do to cause such deviation from the intended path. Once I could stop worrying about them, I started to focus on the deviations in my own life. All the things that are thrown at me, that some would consider problems, on a daily basis: money issues, health issues, social issues, and responsibility issues.
But the funny thing about those issues is that is all they are: issues. Like issues of a magazine that you can read at your leisure. Every kind of problem that you have in your life has come for a reason. Usually that reason will be due to poor decision making on someone's part - probably your's somewhere along the line. And they're generally nothing to get worked up about. Here's where it gets linked...
Because I know that the issue is probably my fault, I then look back on what could be the source of said problem, and find out what decision I made that was incorrect...take note of it...and don't make that same mistake in the future. Once I have found out what mistake it was, I realize that I have set my own kind of "fate"...I've chosen my own short-term destiny in this matter. Bad decisions will circle around, just as your sin will find you out. So I generally take time to reflect each evening before I go to bed. I reflect on what I did during the day, what I didn't do, what I should have done better, but also on what was said throughout the day to me and by me. Often times I find something incongruent with my intentions, and I do my best to rectify it then or as soon as possible.
Knowing that I am the cause of most of the issues I have in my life, I am ok with that - I can handle the problems that I cause (it's the problems that other people cause me that I tend to look at with a little more disdain)...and I take the problems at face value, or less. I know there is no good that can come from worrying about those problems to no end...and the sooner I can find a solution, then the sooner my problem will no longer be an issue in my life.
All my decision making, good and bad, is due to the fact that we have free will in our lives. We make the decisions that chart our life's map, and we bear the consequences good and bad along the way. God on the other hand already has a path charted out on your life's map that he would like for you to follow. It's marked in a bold red marker the correct path to take. But along that path there are dots on it that have a decision for you to make. It is then that things start to get crazy...
The ideal person would come to know Christ at an early age, and gain wisdom shortly after, to seek God's counsel in all their life decisions. But since that is not the case, and we are free-spirited and sinful people, we tend to want to do things our own way for a while to see how it goes. So we don't bother asking God for direction on this one decision, we say "I've got this one God *wink*, I'll get'cha on the next one." God then says "wtf? ....n00b." But lets you do it your own way because he has always known what took me so long to figure out - "you're gonna do what you're gonna do." And he has made it a point not to take over someone's life without them asking him into it.
So you make your decisions, and you get off track and lost in the decision tree...far off the main trunk of the path that God had for you. All the paths lead out to the same destination - the end...but it's the journey along the way that God had picked out for you. Some of the branches are shorter...some are longer. Some have grown into another. But the funny thing is...even though you're a "n00b @ life", God still loves you.
That was another lesson I had to learn. To love unconditionally. I wasn't ever sure what that was about until I figured out everything else first. It's a different kind of Love that he has for us. The kind that says "you know what...no matter what you do, I'll always be able to forgive you. Heck, I even sent my son to die for you, hoping you'd love me even just a little bit. Why would I ever say no?" So even if you're way off the right path that God had for you, because of some jacked up decisions you made in life, you can always say "HEY!!! HELP!! I bucked it up big time God...my bad, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Here I am, I'm done trying to do it my way, I'm in over my head, and I screwed up. I'm not gonna do anything, but seek your Word on what comes next."
So, this didn't turn out to be the kind of post I started out writing...but I think it ended up better. Just another one of those things that happens for a reason, I guess. Maybe someone will read this - maybe *you* (yeah, you reading this) needed to hear it. Maybe it'll help you. I know it helped me to write it. I hope it helps.
Is it a belief in fate? No, probably not. I don't like to believe in fate, for the same reason that Neo doesn't in the movie The Matrix: "I don't like that idea that I'm not in control of my own life." At the same time, I also believe that God knows what's going to happen in your life, all the time. And while I believe in that, I also believe in Free Will.
I've done discussion posts on these thoughts before, but nothing in a blog that attempts to link Free Will, with God's ability to know your path, and this other thing...the psuedo-fate deal. So I'll start with that.
Throughout my life, I had always tried to control the variables, so that I would get the desired results. Most of the time, I got one of several hundred right. There are simply too many variables to account for, and most of the time, they're variables that you don't have any ability to control anyway - they're other people.
There was a major event in my life that was the ultimate failure of character...and that event lead me down a long journey to learn how I was supposed to act and treat people. And it was a journey in the opposite direction from which I had already been traveling.
I learned that people are going to do what people are going to do, and there is nothing you can do about it. I may offer a sensible word to them, that they may or may not consider on their path, and may or may not choose to heed. But in general you just have to accept that there is little you can do about the path that someone else's life is on, beyond setting an example and encouragement. As much as you might want to, you can't make anyone do anything. They have to be willing to submit to your direction.
This lesson taught me a lot about how to interact with other people. Once I figured out that they're going to do what they want regardless, I stopped worrying about what I did/didn't do to cause such deviation from the intended path. Once I could stop worrying about them, I started to focus on the deviations in my own life. All the things that are thrown at me, that some would consider problems, on a daily basis: money issues, health issues, social issues, and responsibility issues.
But the funny thing about those issues is that is all they are: issues. Like issues of a magazine that you can read at your leisure. Every kind of problem that you have in your life has come for a reason. Usually that reason will be due to poor decision making on someone's part - probably your's somewhere along the line. And they're generally nothing to get worked up about. Here's where it gets linked...
Because I know that the issue is probably my fault, I then look back on what could be the source of said problem, and find out what decision I made that was incorrect...take note of it...and don't make that same mistake in the future. Once I have found out what mistake it was, I realize that I have set my own kind of "fate"...I've chosen my own short-term destiny in this matter. Bad decisions will circle around, just as your sin will find you out. So I generally take time to reflect each evening before I go to bed. I reflect on what I did during the day, what I didn't do, what I should have done better, but also on what was said throughout the day to me and by me. Often times I find something incongruent with my intentions, and I do my best to rectify it then or as soon as possible.
Knowing that I am the cause of most of the issues I have in my life, I am ok with that - I can handle the problems that I cause (it's the problems that other people cause me that I tend to look at with a little more disdain)...and I take the problems at face value, or less. I know there is no good that can come from worrying about those problems to no end...and the sooner I can find a solution, then the sooner my problem will no longer be an issue in my life.
All my decision making, good and bad, is due to the fact that we have free will in our lives. We make the decisions that chart our life's map, and we bear the consequences good and bad along the way. God on the other hand already has a path charted out on your life's map that he would like for you to follow. It's marked in a bold red marker the correct path to take. But along that path there are dots on it that have a decision for you to make. It is then that things start to get crazy...
The ideal person would come to know Christ at an early age, and gain wisdom shortly after, to seek God's counsel in all their life decisions. But since that is not the case, and we are free-spirited and sinful people, we tend to want to do things our own way for a while to see how it goes. So we don't bother asking God for direction on this one decision, we say "I've got this one God *wink*, I'll get'cha on the next one." God then says "wtf? ....n00b." But lets you do it your own way because he has always known what took me so long to figure out - "you're gonna do what you're gonna do." And he has made it a point not to take over someone's life without them asking him into it.
So you make your decisions, and you get off track and lost in the decision tree...far off the main trunk of the path that God had for you. All the paths lead out to the same destination - the end...but it's the journey along the way that God had picked out for you. Some of the branches are shorter...some are longer. Some have grown into another. But the funny thing is...even though you're a "n00b @ life", God still loves you.
That was another lesson I had to learn. To love unconditionally. I wasn't ever sure what that was about until I figured out everything else first. It's a different kind of Love that he has for us. The kind that says "you know what...no matter what you do, I'll always be able to forgive you. Heck, I even sent my son to die for you, hoping you'd love me even just a little bit. Why would I ever say no?" So even if you're way off the right path that God had for you, because of some jacked up decisions you made in life, you can always say "HEY!!! HELP!! I bucked it up big time God...my bad, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Here I am, I'm done trying to do it my way, I'm in over my head, and I screwed up. I'm not gonna do anything, but seek your Word on what comes next."
So, this didn't turn out to be the kind of post I started out writing...but I think it ended up better. Just another one of those things that happens for a reason, I guess. Maybe someone will read this - maybe *you* (yeah, you reading this) needed to hear it. Maybe it'll help you. I know it helped me to write it. I hope it helps.
8.07.2007
This is it!
This is it!
Everything that God has put in the Bible and spoken through men, has come out for one sole purpose. The best I could tell people was "God didn't just say it...there is a purpose for it."
Love your neighbor as yourself. It is simple to grasp...simple to explain...and that's exactly the kind of connection that needs to be made with those that can't quite grasp the larger things in life.
The Old Testament is filled with the do's and don'ts of the time. An effort by God to get his people to live right, treat others right, and glorify him in doing so. People fail at life without an example.
The New Testament is God's effort to give his people an example of how they should be living, how they should be treating others, and how to glorify him in doing so. People will be blessed in life if they follow His example.
For months now, possibly years, I have been trying to get people to look deeper into the words they were reading in the bible. If they read from the Old Testament, all they could see was what they were conditioned to see. It was either elaborate stories, or boring genealogy, or out-dated rules for how to live. But there is so much more to it than that.
The elaborate stories were accounts of a time that things seemed impossible, and God showed his people with a slap in the face of their simple thoughts, that nothing was impossible through Him. The boring genealogy is much more than that...it's a record of who is related to who, so you can follow the lineage of the family that eventually resulted in the birth of Jesus. If you read it all, and straight through, you realize that the Bible is not just a collection of stories...it's a family history - how one man and one woman gave rise to an entire nation that was their family. And during the development of that nation, they had specific rules and guidelines - not to control them, per se - but rather to help enable them to live a better life. Don't eat this (because it's bad for you)...don't do this (because it's bad for you)...don't live like this (because it's bad for you).
Why not eat the unclean animals? Well, because all the ones they listed have very little nutritional value as compared to the clean animals they listed.
Why not sleep with the mother of your sister? Well, because that will cause genetic defects in your family line - not to mention the moral, social, and spiritual ramifications against it.
Why should we honor our father and mother? Well, because listening to what they have to say, and doing what they tell you will actually keep you out of trouble - yeah, believe it? I didn't either until I got older and found out the purpose of everything I was raised doing turned out to help be a better employee and person in life.
Now that you've gone through the Old Testament to get your internal perspective in order...next comes the New Testament - where you take your perspective and shift it to other people.
As BinaryAngel wrote in her religion blog, Jesus spent his time walking around the streets. He didn't spend his time looking for miracles to do, but rather as he was going about his day, he saw needs and answered them, and then used that moment to bring a message to his followers.
Jesus is the example for how one takes their own life, and gives out of it to make the lives of others better. A kind word, a gentle touch, an uplifted spirit - sometimes that is all it takes to make someone live beyond their condition. If you take some time in your day to do something empowering to someone else, without required payment or expectation of any kind of return...not only will it bring hope to their life, but joy to yours.
Jesus spent all his time bringing new life, new hope, and new joy to everyone he met. He asked God what his next steps should be, and continually prayed for the needs of those around him. He loved his neighbor as himself, being God - he loved his neighbor as God loved them. When his time was done, he had lived a complete life - not complete in years, but in purpose...to show the people God's love.
What's your purpose here?
The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."This is the entire purpose of my "campaign," if you will, against blind belief.
Galations 5:14
Everything that God has put in the Bible and spoken through men, has come out for one sole purpose. The best I could tell people was "God didn't just say it...there is a purpose for it."
Love your neighbor as yourself. It is simple to grasp...simple to explain...and that's exactly the kind of connection that needs to be made with those that can't quite grasp the larger things in life.
The Old Testament is filled with the do's and don'ts of the time. An effort by God to get his people to live right, treat others right, and glorify him in doing so. People fail at life without an example.
The New Testament is God's effort to give his people an example of how they should be living, how they should be treating others, and how to glorify him in doing so. People will be blessed in life if they follow His example.
For months now, possibly years, I have been trying to get people to look deeper into the words they were reading in the bible. If they read from the Old Testament, all they could see was what they were conditioned to see. It was either elaborate stories, or boring genealogy, or out-dated rules for how to live. But there is so much more to it than that.
The elaborate stories were accounts of a time that things seemed impossible, and God showed his people with a slap in the face of their simple thoughts, that nothing was impossible through Him. The boring genealogy is much more than that...it's a record of who is related to who, so you can follow the lineage of the family that eventually resulted in the birth of Jesus. If you read it all, and straight through, you realize that the Bible is not just a collection of stories...it's a family history - how one man and one woman gave rise to an entire nation that was their family. And during the development of that nation, they had specific rules and guidelines - not to control them, per se - but rather to help enable them to live a better life. Don't eat this (because it's bad for you)...don't do this (because it's bad for you)...don't live like this (because it's bad for you).
Why not eat the unclean animals? Well, because all the ones they listed have very little nutritional value as compared to the clean animals they listed.
Why not sleep with the mother of your sister? Well, because that will cause genetic defects in your family line - not to mention the moral, social, and spiritual ramifications against it.
Why should we honor our father and mother? Well, because listening to what they have to say, and doing what they tell you will actually keep you out of trouble - yeah, believe it? I didn't either until I got older and found out the purpose of everything I was raised doing turned out to help be a better employee and person in life.
Now that you've gone through the Old Testament to get your internal perspective in order...next comes the New Testament - where you take your perspective and shift it to other people.
As BinaryAngel wrote in her religion blog, Jesus spent his time walking around the streets. He didn't spend his time looking for miracles to do, but rather as he was going about his day, he saw needs and answered them, and then used that moment to bring a message to his followers.
Jesus is the example for how one takes their own life, and gives out of it to make the lives of others better. A kind word, a gentle touch, an uplifted spirit - sometimes that is all it takes to make someone live beyond their condition. If you take some time in your day to do something empowering to someone else, without required payment or expectation of any kind of return...not only will it bring hope to their life, but joy to yours.
Jesus spent all his time bringing new life, new hope, and new joy to everyone he met. He asked God what his next steps should be, and continually prayed for the needs of those around him. He loved his neighbor as himself, being God - he loved his neighbor as God loved them. When his time was done, he had lived a complete life - not complete in years, but in purpose...to show the people God's love.
What's your purpose here?
[[Neo]] 104
It's an interesting thing really...the rain is.
It has so many connotations to be derived from it. In some sense it brings life, goodness, prosperity, cleansing. But in others it signifies death, the end, evil, darkness, and trouble ahead.
I prefer not to look at it as either situations, but rather at both - and not for my own life, but in the lives of others.
When I'm at home, work, school, in the car, wherever - and it starts to rain, I get excited. There is probably a psychological explanation for this - something along the lines of feeling protected from the elements by the things that are around me. But that's for me.
There is another kind of excitement I feel in the rain...it's when I take that feeling...that sense of protection...and I go for a walk in it. With my umbrella in hand, and cares left inside, I leave it all behind to take a stroll through the very thing that is the source of the paradoxical feeling it creates. Were it not to rain, I would not feel the protection of the umbrella.
I take a stroll through the very thing that, in some, invokes a sense of goodness, while in others a sense of darkness. I look to the rain, simultaneously thanking God for bringing it, and scoffing at the clouds for it's pathetic attempt to bring me down. The rain does not depress me - gray skies do not dissuade me from enjoying my day - claps of thunder and flashes of lightening only grab my attention with anticipation for what is to come.
I enjoy the rain for another reason though - there is a spiritual significance that the rain has. In life, when storms and rain befalls you - it always seems like there is no worse thing that can possibly be happening. But what always happens on the other side of the storm? There is always new life, rebirth, cleansing, and a promise from God that He will see you through what ever troubles lie ahead. In life, I do not worry about the piddly storms that pop up - I greet them with a "Hello. I will be with you shortly..." and continue on my way. I know that in time, all things will be solved in the manner they should be, and that there is always something better waiting on the other side of the storm for me.
The rain falls all around you, and your only protection from it is your umbrella. In the middle of your troubles, your only protection is to step back into God's plan for your life. If you find that you're in the middle of a storm that suddenly crept up on you, then it's probably because you stepped out from God's protection. You wouldn't be getting wet if you had stayed under the umbrella, now would you?
It is this kind of significance that draws me to take a walk with someone that I choose to get close to, through the rain. I want to see how they react to a little water splashing on them - a little trouble in their life. Do they go with the flow, or do they concern themselves with staying protected and dry? Will they freak out when a storm hits them, and break down; or do they calmly remember where the protection is they need, and change direction to help get them through the storm? Do they see the positive in life, or focus solely on the moment...on the negative?
It is for this reason I ask you..."would you like to take a walk?"
It has so many connotations to be derived from it. In some sense it brings life, goodness, prosperity, cleansing. But in others it signifies death, the end, evil, darkness, and trouble ahead.
I prefer not to look at it as either situations, but rather at both - and not for my own life, but in the lives of others.
When I'm at home, work, school, in the car, wherever - and it starts to rain, I get excited. There is probably a psychological explanation for this - something along the lines of feeling protected from the elements by the things that are around me. But that's for me.
There is another kind of excitement I feel in the rain...it's when I take that feeling...that sense of protection...and I go for a walk in it. With my umbrella in hand, and cares left inside, I leave it all behind to take a stroll through the very thing that is the source of the paradoxical feeling it creates. Were it not to rain, I would not feel the protection of the umbrella.
I take a stroll through the very thing that, in some, invokes a sense of goodness, while in others a sense of darkness. I look to the rain, simultaneously thanking God for bringing it, and scoffing at the clouds for it's pathetic attempt to bring me down. The rain does not depress me - gray skies do not dissuade me from enjoying my day - claps of thunder and flashes of lightening only grab my attention with anticipation for what is to come.
I enjoy the rain for another reason though - there is a spiritual significance that the rain has. In life, when storms and rain befalls you - it always seems like there is no worse thing that can possibly be happening. But what always happens on the other side of the storm? There is always new life, rebirth, cleansing, and a promise from God that He will see you through what ever troubles lie ahead. In life, I do not worry about the piddly storms that pop up - I greet them with a "Hello. I will be with you shortly..." and continue on my way. I know that in time, all things will be solved in the manner they should be, and that there is always something better waiting on the other side of the storm for me.
The rain falls all around you, and your only protection from it is your umbrella. In the middle of your troubles, your only protection is to step back into God's plan for your life. If you find that you're in the middle of a storm that suddenly crept up on you, then it's probably because you stepped out from God's protection. You wouldn't be getting wet if you had stayed under the umbrella, now would you?
It is this kind of significance that draws me to take a walk with someone that I choose to get close to, through the rain. I want to see how they react to a little water splashing on them - a little trouble in their life. Do they go with the flow, or do they concern themselves with staying protected and dry? Will they freak out when a storm hits them, and break down; or do they calmly remember where the protection is they need, and change direction to help get them through the storm? Do they see the positive in life, or focus solely on the moment...on the negative?
It is for this reason I ask you..."would you like to take a walk?"
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