12.31.2008

What is it??

I don't know what it is that has made me more and more uninterested in people in general, but it's not nice, and doesn't make me happy, and hurts the PR I have with nearly everyone except those who know me the most.

Isolationism? Anti-Socialism? Those sound like political foreign policy stances, but I'm talking about the personality concepts.

When I go home, there are nights where I don't want to talk to anyone at all - anyone....at all. There are days when I come to work, and don't want to talk to anyone at all...or spend time fixing computers, or going to someone's desk to click OK for them on an error box that they're capable of clicking themselves. There are days when I just want to sit alone, in silence, for an extended period of time, until I have had enough time to recuperate the energy required to be social.

I'm willing to guess this has a good deal to do with finances. Moving to Plano zero-byted my checking and savings accounts. For the first time I literally had $0 in the bank or in paypal. All I had available to live on was the available balances I paid down on my credit cards since taking this new job. Now, that is no longer an option.

I'm just now getting past the 1st-month's fees that the bastard companies tack on to their services when you move, and catching up on some late bills.

What I really need to do is get the credit card bills off the expense report. That would save me an extra $800 a month...srsly. But those won't get paid off until 2011, at the earliest. (At this point, I don't mind if Nostradamus is right about the 2012 asteroid impact, I won't have to pay my credit cards back).

I got one paid off last summer, and was just about to pay off the second one before I moved, and in the matter of a month, I ran it back up to the limit. Why? Visiting my friends and family in Arlington/Hurst and making unnecessary trips (one of which was for a metal rod not even worth the gas it cost to go get it). And so, when I told my stepmom that I could literally not afford to make it to my brother's birthday party this coming weekend, she sounded shocked. Well, it's a 100 mile round-trip...it's the same thing as going to our grandparents house for something as trivial as a few hours.

For some reason, I am happier when I have the means to afford spending time with people. Just being able to go over and spend time is not enough for me (apparently), I have to be able to afford to do it.

I don't feel isolationist all the time, nor do I mind being around a certain handful of people when I feel that way. But lately it's been more often than not that it has been the case.

12.27.2008

Porch Monkey

I decided this morning, after having the windows open continually for the past two days, that I'd spend the morning on the porch, with my laptop, and some coffee. I'm enjoying the 73 degree weather, with the morning freshness.

But I'm also waiting on the rain.

I've got some mint chocolate candies in my coffee, and a pile of pine wood next to me for the new Chiminea my parents bought me (after asking for two years), and some rocking chairs I got from my brother.

It's interesting how much more willing I am to sit on the patio now that I don't live in the ghetto - I don't have to stare at wannabe gang posses wandering the streets and breaking out the windows in the laundry room...or listen to the loud thump of car bass systems as they slow down for the speed bump in front of my apartment...or feel cutoff from what's going on inside since I didn't have a screen door for the patio.

But all that has changed - I have a view of a side walk, where one of my neighbors brings her dogs out, and random people walk by - unaffiliated with a gang...I only hear the sound of the wind, or my tv inside...and I have a screen door so Winston can enjoy the breeze too.

It's supposed to get down to 35 degrees tonight, and I'll probably spend some time out here with the Chiminea...unless it's too cold, and then I'll probably just work on some other things I need to finish, like shampooing the bedroom carpet, or setting up a server.

We'll see...right now, I'm watching the cold front move over the Airport. Should be here within the next hour or two.

12.08.2008

A little update

I decided I'd finally get around to changing the layout of the blog to look a little more like my twitter design, and I think it looks pretty epic to me.

I also want to give a shoutout to my Mom, who decided to read up on all my blog entries, except for the ones written in 1s and 0s. "Hi Mom...you can stop stalking me now, or I'll be compelled to write more about you."



It's not that I care that my information is on the internet - I'm the one that put it there. It's not even that I care that people read it - that's why I put it there. The only thing that bothers me about it, is when someone decides to go read it, and then comes back to me and tries to get on my case about the fact that I put it there - like it was some unintentional slip-up, and my life ended up in a blog on the internet.

I've been writing a journal since the days of etbustudents.cc, when we did it by hand, and re-uploaded an html page...until we got a forum for them at the-spot.net...and now people have various web services dedicated to doing journals. This is not something new to me, I've been doing it since before it was something to be doing on the internet, and it has always contained my thoughts.

I don't have any problem telling people to their face what my thoughts are - my problem is whether or not they're going to be able to handle it when I do tell them my thoughts. I used to be a little sissy-bitch and always tried to keep the boat from rocking - and to a certain degree I still like to maintain peace and order. However, these days (as of the last year or so) I am no longer afraid to be myself - I can thank Sunny for that. She's the one that couldn't handle me as I was...and when I changed, noticed that I wasn't being me. So I resolved to always be me, regardless of whether or not people could handle it - and if they couldn't...too bad.

So here's to my journal - me being me. If you don't like it, can't handle it, or want to change it - don't read it.

12.03.2008

Week 1 - 10 days in...

It's been around 10 days now since I moved to Plano...and I still have boxes to unpack. I'm not worried about them though - they're either decorations for the various rooms, or stuff that I don't need to hook-up/use.

But I don't really want to talk about moving. I like my apartment, and definitely like that my "work day" has been reduced by 1/3, or 4 hours, since I don't have to ride the train anymore.

Lately work is starting to stress me out. I don't get stressed easily, and generally can handle everything that's given to me in a timely manner. But lately, we've decided that we are going to recode/rewrite the entire Yahoo Store that we're using. That's great! We can finally clean up some things that needed to be cleaned up since it was first sloppily put together by the person that they paid to write the code.

The problem with that - is that I'm still expected to continue being the System Admin, and Help Desk, and Network Admin...as well as the Project Manager for this project, and two parallel ones - generating a Non-Yahoo Store, and doing research on getting a better internet connection to the building.

Normally, I wouldn't have a problem doing all these things - however, I'm dealing with a generational gap that is causing some communication issues and a lot of frustration on my end. I'm dealing with a boss who is used to doing things one way - the same way he's done them for the past 8 years, who has been involved on the day-to-day operation of the site/store, and only within the last 2 years has moved further from the day-to-day, and is more week-to-week.

That's fine. The problem I have with that, is that things aren't the same way they were in 2000. The internet changes every 6 months or less. I kinda thought that by hiring a bunch of 20-somethings, that we were going to be tapped for our expertise on the internet, how it works, what it can do, and how people use it. Apparently that was not the case. We are being tapped for all that information, but not to use it with how the internet is currently being used - no...to use it for how we've always done business.

I understand it's a tough thing to let someone else take over the production, design, and marketing of one's livelihood - one's baby that they've built from the ground up...the one thing they know inside and out. But just like Microsoft had to give up Bill Gates in order to move forward with the new way people are using computers, so should other sites that have been around as long. I guarantee that if I still had the-spot.net looking like it did during tsn I, II, or III - it'd still be dead like it was after tsnI and II. But I'm not here to talk about the health of tsn - that's a factor of the free-time I have to work on it vs responsibilities.

Basically what frustrates me, is that I would like a hands-off kind of management. I get a lot more done when I don't have a boss around that is interested in having a meeting about something, and then giving out directives to go and do something that we've already decided amongst ourselves is a bad idea. I make a list, work the list, and when I'm done, that is when there should be a meeting...not strategically positioned to interrupt a good workflow.

Trust appears to be my concern. We're not trusted to do the job we were hired to do - some of us after 1.5 years, some of us after .5 years, and some of us after 1 month. Us 20-somethings are the internet generation. We're more plugged in than the characters on The Matrix. We know what we expect the internet to do, and when it doesn't meet expectations, it gives us the impression that this site hasn't been updated in years, so we better not shop there - we might not get anything for our money.


Trust us to do what we need to do to get our job done, without defaming the company's name and reputation on the internet...then we'll have enough time to do all the other things that we've talked about doing for the company, as well as the jobs we were hired for in the first place.



This is my work rant. Too many "go ahead and add this to your list" requests, combined with too many "no, I don't like it, let's do it this way...no, I don't like that either". F@#$ dude! Figure out what you like - I'll be at my desk working on everything else that's wrong with everything else.

11.05.2008

A victory, a truth, and a change...

Last night, Barack Obama was elected to the office of President...and afterward all kinds of things happened.

Most notably, one of the major barriers to progress as a nation was knocked down - the issue of Race. No matter how you look at it, history was going to be made during the Democratic National Convention this year - whether the issue of gender was subsided or of race. As it turned out, Obama became the first African-American to be nominated as the primary candidate for a major political party, and the nation moved one step closer toward unity. A small victory for the civil rights activists of the 60s, an equality movement in which some gave their lives to realize. Last night, that effort paid off in what could be deemed the highest esteemed privilege bestowed on an individual. The world rejoiced as the American Citizens voted in the first African-American President...by nearly 7.2 million popular votes, and by more than a 2:1 electoral college vote. The only people not rejoicing - are the Evangelicals, Conservatives, and Republicans...

What I don't understand is why? It has been falsely accused that if an individual doesn't vote a particular way, then they MUST be <fill in the blank>...."if you don't vote Republican, you're not a Christian"..."if you don't vote for Hillary, you're a sexist"..."if you don't vote Obama, you're a racist"..."if you don't vote conservative, you're a socialist". All nonsense!

I'm white, a Right-Centerist, and a Christian. But I also didn't vote. Had I voted, I would have done so in favor of Obama for President, and Republican for all the rest of the ticket. Why? Former Republican Florida Congressman Joe Scarborough put it best on his MSNBC show, Morning Joe, this morning talking about the previous two elections. He mentioned that while he was in Congress, the turning point for him was the moment he realized his party didn't have exclusive rights to the definition of the Truth. Once he came to that realization, it opened the doors for him to consider all points of view from both sides of the isle, and learn how to keep an open mind when finding solutions for the nation. That being the case, he also noted how during the last two elections, the Evangelicals were all kinds of excited that George W. Bush won. However, during this one, the McCain voters are all crying "Terrorist", "Socialst", "Communist", etc...

Really? Seriously? Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats have the absolute definition of what is Right and True in the universe, or for this nation. I was glad when Bill Clinton won, and I was glad when George W. Bush won. Now I'm glad Obama won. My loyalties don't lie on voting purely for religious reasons - I don't vote my fear...fear that one will ruin the country over the other, that one will be more immoral than my own morals, or that consciously choosing to have a non-Republican in office is going to end the world. I vote my hopes...that one will bring the necessary change to the country, that one will see that what has been going on hasn't been working and will do something different, and doing so with full knowledge that it's going to come at an expense to the citizens.

During the past 8 years, we've been attacked by terrorists, engaged in a war that has lasted much longer than needed, and should have ended 2 years ago, while losing sight of the actual terrorists responsible for the attacks, taken the country into the largest national debt ever, while finishing it all off with the biggest single-day drops in the global stock market since the Great Depression. You may have thought this was how it was supposed to happen - but I didn't. Now it's time for a change.

I'm not anti-war by any means...but I am anti-tea-party-in-the-desert. If we're going to be in a war, let's be in a war. Let's handle our shit, kick some ass, and come home. War is war...5 years is uncalled for, civilian deaths are part of the inhumanity of war, and costs can be minimized by taking care of business swiftly, justly, and accurately. We're fighting a group of people that are using bazookas/IDEs. We have bombs and planes. There is no reason this cannot be wrapped up in time for the weekend.

I'm not anti-stock market either...but I am anti-free-money-for-businesses when those same businesses are overcharging the people on a no-value-added service/product. Credit Markets: If you can't handle your credit, you lose your shit. Oil Industry: When you start producing clean-burning oil, we'll pay ~$4.00 a gallon; until then, back the f@#$ off. CEOs: it's great that you lead a large corporation to monumental success, but when you get millions while your employees lose their pensions because your people screwed up, that's bullshit; the national sports teams have a salary cap, and get fined - why not CEOs who under-perform or cause the company to go bankrupt?

The country has gotten itself into a hole - and it's the country that is going to have to pay for it. According to McCain, big business would get the break, and the people would have to foot the bill. Well, look at the CEOs, you saw how well that works. Obama proposes making the CEOs and businesses...every entity that makes over $250,000 a year, foot the bill for fixing the nation, so that the individuals will be able to afford and manage all the other ways they're getting screwed. Sure it might mean higher taxes - I know it will. But like it or not, we're a nation, a collective, a complex organism that is interconnected internally and externally with the rest of the world. Don't like it? Move to an island and figure it out for yourself.

McCain's mantra was "Country First"...I don't see any deviation from that mantra with Obama either. It's all a matter of who/what you consider to be the country - the people, or business? People make businesses, not the other way around.

More importantly than all of this, is the ideological change that can be made now. A new era has begun, or can begin. One in which the nation can move forward without regard to race. One in which one race does not have to fear another. There are going to be segments of the population that cannot bring themselves to accept what has happened - and those people, I would consider to be harboring some racial prejudices - not necessarily a racist, but a pre-judgment of a person's character simply due to the color of their skin. I have my own prejudices too - my main one is education. Unfortunately for a long time, there was a substantial amount of people that I came into contact with, both white and minorities, that expressed a certain disinterest in trying to improve their own position through education and effort. Because those people had a lack of self-respect, it was hard to respect them beyond that which is due a fellow human. It wasn't until I started actively surrounding myself with people that did have that self-respect, when I saw that it was not a global, across-the-board condition. Rather, it was a condition, or at best, a choice, brought on by the belief they simply couldn't. They couldn't be better, they couldn't change their situation, they couldn't succeed in life.

That disbelief in themselves was the reason many voters went towards Obama, who's campaign slogan was "Yes we can." He saw the bigger picture, and inspired those people to believe in themselves. With this new inspiration, the nation as individuals now knowingly has the opportunity to make the necessary changes they wish to see in the country.

Personally, I'm excited for progress - a change from a direction which has not been making much progress...a change that involves all the people of the country to push it in the direction that they want to go, and not the lobbyists' direction...a change that will hopefully fix a lot of the problems the nation has been dealing with for a long time now.

And if it doesn't - you can always change it every 2 years - remember, it's the Congress and House of Representatives that make the laws...not the President.

10.21.2008

Political Workplace

For a while now...ever since I was asked who I'd vote for back in August by my boss, politics has played a considerable part in random conversational opportunities to speak on the latest negative news about one candidate or the other. Unfortunately, this is the nature of politics these days.

Another unfortunate reality these days is that people love to wrap up religion in politics. The majority of people I am around are Christians...Conservative Christians. Sadly, these "Conservative Christians" are giving themselves a bad name (which I have been seeing for a long time now) simply by the statements and beliefs they hold, and try to share with others.

As I grew up, in a Southern Baptist Church, I too held the belief that anyone who doesn't believe like I did was wrong...and thus, all of their decisions and beliefs were inherently wrong. I viewed the world this way until I turned about 23-25.

It wasn't until that time that I moved out of the household of any parental figures and on my own, that I started making my own decisions and thinking for myself...a time when my actions had direct and heavily impacting consequences to my own survival. As I started to encounter new things I was previously sheltered from, and new kinds of people I was protected from interacting with, my views changed away from those that were instilled in me growing up.

For example, when I was a kid, I was taught Islam, Muslim, Wiccans, Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormon people were evil and shouldn't even be talked to, unless trying to convert them to Christianity as I knew it. That all Democrats were obviously non-Christians. That Gay people are demon possessed, and should be condemned until converted to Christianity and straightness.

Depending on your background, Reader, you may identify with this; consider it valid, but extreme; or be abhorred by the statements.

But that is not how I see things now...

It was said to me that "people fear that which they do not understand." I see that in a lot of the really Conservative people's beliefs...regardless of religion. People fear technology because they don't understand it...people fear the future because they can't fathom it...they fear progress because they don't understand the implications of it. So........ go understand it!

Religions - people believe various things based on what they were taught when they were growing up. They either inherited their parents' beliefs, or formed their own due to their environment. People that are Islamic, Muslim, whatever, believe what they do for the same reason that those around me believe in Jesus. They believe their religion is the answer for how to properly live and end their life. And that's what they have chosen to do...that's fine. But that doesn't mean that I have chosen to do the same...and doesn't mean that they can force me to either. So for the people holding up signs and yelling "Repent because you're going to BURN IN HELL" on the street corner in Sundance Square, downtown Fort Worth, at people who are out enjoying their Friday evening with their loved ones...why don't you go live your life in a manner that would bring awe and wonderment to those around you? Why don't you cause people to ask you why you believe what you do, because of how much better it is than what they currently believe?

I am extremely against shoving my religious point of view down someone's throat because I think it is right or better. The reasons for my beliefs are no more valid than the reasons for their beliefs. And if you think your beliefs are, then why? Because Jesus said so? Because you have a Bible that says so? Because Brother Bob at Westside Baptist Church said so? Because you just get a certain feeling that comes over you when you read the scriptures from the Bible and while praying?.......So do they. Live it out, and let them come ask. Jesus didn't hold up signs and shout at people on the streets...they CAME to Him and ASKED Him how they could follow Him.


Politics - I grew up Republican. My favorite color as a kid was Red...It was bright, exciting, and (unknown until a couple years ago) was the color I saw as a Synestete that related to my views on religion and politics. As I got older though, red started to relate to stress and control as well...and I became a fan of blue. It's cooler, calmer, and less BAM! in your face. Much like my *views* on religion politics.

Over the years, I have noticed that Republicans tend to equate to Conservative Christians. They tend to try and tie up their "believe like I believe, because what you believe is wrong" ideology into their message. "Terrorists, Evil, War, Mass Destruction, Taxes, Socialism, Gay Marriages, Flag Burning, Abortion" are all part of the rhetoric that gets spewed out from Republican conventions. And to be quite honest with you - Gay people shouldn't get a "Marriage" title, Abortions shouldn't happen, and I am cool with war...let's go get the evil people out of the way, and blow them up. Let's relocate all the Israelites for a minute, and turn the middle east into the biggest piece of glass in the world...and move them back.

ON THE OTHER HAND, Democrats tend to equate to humanists..."Environmentalists, Animal Rights, Gay Rights, Pro-Choice, Taxes, Middle Class" are all part of the rhetoric that gets spewed out from Democratic conventions. And to be quite honest with you - Gay people should have rights as humans, Animals should have rights (though not equal to humans) to protect them reasonably, the environment should be taken into consideration....but not to the extent of impeding progress. We have oil in Alaska and around every shoreline and coast in America. We need to be able to get it instead of having to borrow more money from China to pay OPEC because someone wants to save the spotted owl, or keep the coastline pretty.

Hopefully you can see that I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat. I'm a thinker.

What bothers me the most is that people who are Republican and Christian use those same Street Corner Soapbox tactics and try to vote a person into office that is as close to Jesus as possible, and then tell you that the other party is pure evil. It's those same people that love their Guns, hate abortion (yet love war...ironic?), and want a Theocracy instead of a Democracy. Little do they realize that if Jesus was President, a lot of the things they enjoy (like good Action Movies, their Alcoholic privileges, all the personal freedoms they enjoy) publicly or privately will be gone. Jesus is a pretty cut-throat guy when it comes to following the rules.

HOWEVER...Jesus does not share the social interactions that a lot of Conservative Christians share. I don't recall Jesus shunning people, or standing on the street corners yelling that someone was going to hell because they were gay, a prostitute, or otherwise a sinner. Jesus was a socialist, to say that his operation was on a civilized, social level. He was tolerant that different kinds of people existed, and ministered to them in their own way...the way they needed to hear it. Paul did the same thing - "...To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law...I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." [1 Cor. 9:19-23] He didn't try to make people into clones of himself; he taught people how to live for God while being themselves.

Jesus is a cool dude...So is Paul. But I would not vote for either of them for President. Religion should not be a factor in voting for President. If you want religion to be a factor in government, use it when voting for the Senators and House of Reps. They're the ones that make the laws you have to live by, not the President.

I have taken on the perspective that one should vote for the President based on what we as a country, and/or I feel that I, need right now to make it through the next 4 years. Religion plays a very small role in that...my perspective is the same as a statement mentioned in the Democratic National Convention by Obama: "We may not agree on the topic of abortion, but we can agree on the reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies." You and I may not agree on how the consequence gets handled...but let's not worry about that - let's worry about the cause.

I may not agree with how the government handles the fallout from this growing economic crisis...but we do agree that something needs to be done to stop it, and prevent it in the future.
I may not agree with how the government handles the war on terror...but we do agree that we need to fight it, win it, and finish it.
I may not agree with how the economy gets handled...but we do agree that it needs to be fixed and something is inherently broken.

I may not agree with you on which candidate can handle the situation we have found ourselves in as a nation...but we do agree that we need to fix it, and regain the status, and relationships that America used to hold with our neighbors on the his planet. And to do that, everyone needs to vote - for someone, anyone...whoever fits your perspective on the issues best.

10.06.2008

On the way to work...

Well, the TRE was late to Union Station this morning - as is the norm these days, so much so, that if it was on time, it'd be early. It was raining, this distracted me, as I was more interested in trying to stay as dry as possible than anything else. So I got on the next train that pulled in. Everything was fine, as I passed through all the downtown stations, and then LBJ/Central station, though something looked a little different, but we hit all the stops I'm used to - this was just the first time I had ridden the train in the rain though. Well, about 2-3 more stops, I noticed that the train was pretty much empty, and thought it was just because not many people took it because of the rain.

I looked up, and noticed the blue sign's reflection in the window - the train label, and noticed it said Downtown Garland thought .oO( that's weird...they spelled "Downtown" as "DWNTN"...huh...).

A few minutes later I looked out the window and saw a "One Stop Shop" corner store that I hadn't seen before, and thought that was a little strange too - but attributed it to my normal routine of sleeping/being preoccupied by my podcasts I listen to on the way to work.

I also noticed that the train wasn't blowing its horn as frequently as it normally does and thought we might have had a new driver that didn't care...but that when it did, it was loud and sounded a little different. So at the next stop I looked out the window to see what Station it was...The station sign said "Downtown Garland". It all clicked...

"Oh shit."

I got off and looked up at the clock: 7:30am.

"Oh shit. Shit! Shit! Shit!"

I contemplated getting on the southbound train to go back to Dallas to meet the red-line (as I ended up on the blue-line) and then riding the red-line back up to Plano. Or to call my coworker that lives a little bit away, and see if she could come get me.

She was able, and that saved me an extra hour of commute time, and I only got to work about 10 minutes later than I normally would have due to the late train.

9.30.2008

BAIL OUT!!!

I should have figured the House was Jewish. As per the stereotype, they’re all focused on their money.

What the F#$% are our "Representatives" doing taking a day off from work for Rosh Hashanah? WTF?! Yesterday, the phags in the Legislative Branch voted down a "bailout bill" to help sustain the American Economy.

I was actually surprised at who voted what - I thought, for sure, the Republicans would vote for this, since it is their party's President that is calling for it. But oh, nay nay - Republicans voted against it 65-133, and Democrats voted 140-95 for it. 67% Reps against, 60% Dems for it.

However, I am split on it - on the one hand, I agree with the writers of a Time magazine article "Let Risk-Taking Financial Institutions Fail", which says:

Let the poorly managed, overly risk-taking financial institutions fail! Always remember that Wall Street and the real economy are not the same thing.

I agree - companies that are stupid enough to make poor lending decisions should be allowed to weed themselves out of the marketplace. It's the cleansing of the gene-pool...survival of the fittest. That's how the free market works - you have equal opportunity to be successful or to fail epically. Let it happen.

On the other hand, I agree with Jim Marshall (D-GA), in his "Commentary: America can't go cold turkey on credit". I too have thought about how an economy with government intervention should work. He says that he has:

...studied ways to make sure they don't get into trouble in the first place -- and drag all of us down with them.

In my opinion, I am pro-capitalism...and also pro-socialism - but within balance. I believe that companies should not extend credit to individuals in cases that their total credit equals or surpasses 50% of their yearly earnings. (In my individual case, my credit-line EQUALS or EXCEEDS what I make in a year. I know that I am currently negative about 75% of my annual salary and have put a stop to it, and have been doing everything I can to reverse it.) Of course, companies are greedy and will extend credit with no regard to the individual's over-all ability to pay. It seems that credit checks only take into account their ability to pay as if this were the only loan they had taken out.

Therefore, the Government should step in, and set a lower limit to the amount of credit that companies overall should be able to extend to a particular individual. This would have to be in the form of a regulated government division dedicated to the extension of credit. Companies would have to borrow their money from the government initially and be liable to the government if they default.

This bottom limit for how far an individual (and even company, or parent company as a rollup of all subsidiaries) can go into debt will prevent this kind of economic failure that ripples throughout the American economy, and into the Global economy.

That is a very Socialist concept, but the pro-capitalist part is next. While it would be acceptable for the Government to help prevent failure, it should not inhibit success. The Government should not attempt to set an upper barrier to limit the amount of success that an individual or business can attain - to a point. Let me explain...

A person goes into business - after 30 years becomes one of the most wealthy businesses in the nation, and then retires or is laid off - either good or bad, for better or worse, and receives a Golden Parachute. That Parachute should be the result of an equation - an equation that takes into account the Value of the Company, the Profit the Company generates on average during the years the individual has been in that position, and the unpaid Debt the Company has acquired during the individual's time in that position.

If you have a company that is thriving, doing well...and turns a profit, but has a nearly equal unpaid debt - the package the CEO or individual leaves with will be less than if they had no unpaid debt. If the company is on its way out, like Enron was, the CEO would either leave with nothing, or OWE money, depending on the equation.

There needs to be a reformation of how the economy works, because right now it does not work...at least not to the Main Street economist - the person that sits in a cubicle all day, living pay-check to pay-check, wondering if it's going to be a $10 grocery week, or a $50 grocery week. Sure the concepts may sound Socialist, but if applied correctly, is it really all that bad?

It might be if you're a greedy CEO, counting on that extra $200m package deal when you retire.

9.29.2008

Cubicles

You know what I hate about working in a cubicle environment? It’s not so much the beige walls, or the fluorescent lighting, or really even the isolationist atmosphere it creates (although that is not preferred). Instead it’s the perceived perception of solitude.

When people are in a cube, they become unaware of everyone else around them, and thus find themselves feeling at liberty to carry on with their daily routines as if they were the only one in the office.

Case in point: there is a coworker of mine that does not have the friendliest personality a person could have, mixed with a “not-my-problem-so-fix-it” attitude, and a general negative disposition in general for anyone from which she has to request a service who does not respond immediately and to her liking.

This only gets to be a problem around lunch time, when it becomes “off-the-clock” time for her. She retrieves her lunch food items from a local restaurant, and returns with them to her desk, and then proceeds to handle her personal business via the company’s customer-service phone lines.

I’m sure this wouldn’t be a problem if she would handle it quietly – but that is not what happens. Every day it’s an argument/conflict with another company’s customer service rep on the phone, while the rest of us are trying to work. Normally it has something to do with her kids, and personal business...but it’s always uncomfortable to hear.

Because of this, we all know more than we want to know about her family life, and it’s fairly stressful (at least to me) to have to hear someone argue with someone else on the other end of the phone – when everything could be resolved if she would not be such a bitch to them!

I’ve asked about it, and apparently it’s not that big a problem yet – but I disagree. If I can hear her in my cubicle, I’m sure other people in her department – Customer Service – who have people on the phone can hear her also…as well as the customers, possibly.

My take on it is: if you have personal business – either handle it quietly, or go find a payphone/cell phone to use outside the building. I know she has a cell phone of her own, because she has called the warehouse in the mornings to come unlock the door. Go out to the warehouse, or out back behind the building, and handle your bitchyass business there. No one else in the office wants to hear about how your kids can’t get a doctor’s appointment, or how you can’t afford to pay them when you DO get an appointment.

Shit, woman. You’re not the only person in the office.

9.14.2008

And change, it did...

I left my job at Texas Wesleyan at the end of June. June turned out to be historically the longest period of time that I have been employed and paid, while working as few days as possible. I used up all my sick days, since I wouldn't get paid for them, and I used the 3 paid summer vacation days they gave us. That was about 2.5 weeks worth of time off, which means I only worked about 11 days that month, but got paid for the whole thing.

I started my new job in Plano June 30, and have been doing it ever since. It's going on 2.5 months now, and things are looking pretty good. I've gotten to explore the parts of a server that the folks at the last job wouldn't let me, due to permissions...I've been instrumental in helping release the latest version of the website, and developing new technologies for the next version. And in general, I've gotten to be creative and not replace printer toners doing it.

I'm not a very big fan of riding the train - or at least I wasn't. But I've found ways to get around that. I now get TV on my cell phone, so I can watch MSNBC on the ride in, coffee in-hand, and get my news. I've also picked up listening to podcasts again, since my commute is about 1.5 hours one-way. I can cover a lot of information during that time.

But while I'm not a fan of having to ride the train, and rely on their scheduling (which has gotten better, since they added two buses to my routes), I *am* a fan of only having to fill up my gas tank every two weeks now. I save a shitton of gas by riding the train.

I also have been saving a shitton of money since I started packing my lunch. For a while there, I went out to lunch with some coworkers to get in with people on the inside, but for the past month, I've stopped using my credit cards, since they were all maxed out, and have been bringing my lunch. Not only does this save on expenses, but also gives rise to weight loss. I'm shooting for 220 or less by Christmas when I have to go visit my mother for the first time in 5 years...I don't want to be a fatty when I go, and am hoping I get to take my girlfriend, who ever she may be at the time.

I have to go to bed at 10:00 or as close to that as possible however, since I have to get up at 5:00am in order to get ready and pack a lunch, to get to the train on time. Otherwise, I have to drive, and that kills 1/3 of the gas tank, plus the wasted allocated fare for the train ticket.

Things are starting to look up finally...and I've taken control of all the spiraling my life was doing this summer. Now it's time to sleep.

Peace

5.21.2008

To be a team player, we have to be a team...

I've been kinda pissed off at work lately, for a couple reasons...I consider them legit reasons though.

First, the restructure of our department. In the past year and a half that I have been at my job, I've see the IT Director moved down to Network Director, and then moved over to a made-up-position of "CTO" where he does R&D tasks. While that was happening, the CIO was moved over to Technical adviser to the CFO, and then to VP for Project Management, another made-up-position. This keeps these two on the payroll, doesn't cut them loose, and moves them out of the department. Meanwhile, the former IT Director's secretary moved to IT Director, and then added to Director of Educational Technology also, and now is CIO. The Dell guy I was hired on at the exact same time with moved from Helpdesk to Educational Technology, and is now my boss, the Helpdesk Manager. A linux network admin is now the IT Director interim, and everyone else has stayed the same.

Apparently the people in Facilities were right when they said "those who can't do, get promoted; those who can, work." I spent the last year and a quarter doing only what tickets I was assigned, and not taking on any extra tasks to give myself opportunity to be fired for screwing something up, or failing epically...but mainly because I was hired at my low rate to do the simple job of supporting users - not running servers and managing domains or working on LDAP and Linux Systems. As far as I'm concerned, they were willing to pay me my rate to replace toners and help users, and that's what I agreed to - the rest will cost them extra.

Well, here's the second thing...I spent this year so far asserting myself into a leadership role for the Active Directory migration project, since the original leadership and decision makers were not the ones actually having to do the work - thus missing a lot of the picture, and making blind decisions. By mid-February, I was leading it forward, and had us on target to finish early and effectively without interrupting daily workflows. Then in April, I was sent to the Law School to help them as I had become the resident "expert" for migrating computers. The Law School would have finished early too had the main campus side had their stuff together. But while I was there, I showed my supervisor just how much I knew about what was actually going on beyond my own desk, and took on a project that had taken 6 months of meetings yet no progress was being made.

So, my supervisor and I bounced some ideas, came up with a plan, and a fail-safe all within about 6 minutes, and went home to sleep on it. The next day we did it, no problems ensued, and everyone was happy and surprised. Then I had "opportunity" once they migrated the server (as I had made the plan according to the client-side responsibilities), and we encountered a problem. Having not touched the server or the software before, it took me about 45 minutes to learn the software, ask all the questions I had about how it communicated, and found the issue, and then fixed it. Meanwhile, they put in a support-ticket with the software vendor to see how fast they could come up with the answer, and it was going to take them talking to their team of engineers until the following Tuesday to come up with an answer, but they had a couple guesses. And then we had the same issue with another associated software tied to the server, but I didn't have the appropriate permissions on the network to fix it, but I knew what the problem/solution was.

Which brings up the third issue...I spend most of my day at my computer, chatting online. I get a ticket, and knock it out in under 15 minutes...often time right there over the phone, or via remote desktop. The rest of my day is spent listening to music, and programming for the-spot.net. I literally don't have anything to do most of the day..I'm grossly under-used...and my Law School supervisor expressed that to my boss. He was unaware, apparently, and there was talk of a promotion to a networking position as a jr. system admin, until I could show them just how much I knew (there was the phrase "promote to the point of incompetence" used). But when the restructure came around last week - no promotion for [[Neo]]. Nope....[[Neo]] gets to replace printer toners still.

Fourthly, it has to do with the "talk" that doesn't follow through. There was that talk of a promotion, just like there had been a year's-worth of talk about raises. And now our new boss is moving us to a different room in the building, to put the IT Helpdesk together in the same location. The incentive was new furniture, and the like. However, his boss told him, once presented with the choice of desk "That's a good desk, for you...now what about the technicians?" So because of the politics involved, and people not being forthcoming with information, there is dissension in the ranks of the Help Desk.

Mostly the dissension has to do with people complaining about their job - in particular the Help Desk phone answerer - the literal "level 1" support person. She answers the calls the come into the helpdesk - that's her job. She tries to help them if she can over the phone, but if not (because she's not as technically inclined as the Technicians, or she'd be one) she creates a ticket and passes it on to us. That's great - that's how it's supposed to work. But when she decided today that she was getting just too many calls, and stopped answering the phone altogether, it kept ringing back to our office. Normally we'll answer the phone because in the infrequent occassion that she's here and it does ring back, it's because she's busy. However today it was more than normal. So one of the technicians went to her office to see if she was there, and she was - she was just sitting there though, not answering the phone, just letting it ring back. So we stopped answering it.

Apparently she went up to our boss and talked to him for about 30 minutes, almost to tears, about how things aren't going right, and she doesn't think anyone understands how hard her job is, and that if it keeps up she's walking. Well, there are a couple things wrong with that - first, she's only here 2-3 days out of the week CONSTANTLY. We're placing bets as to how many days she'll be here each week - both of the helpdesk phone girls. (the newer one has picked up on this ability to just call-in because you stayed up too late the night before and didn't get enough sleep bullshit.) Second, she doesn't do her job efficiently - she does it, it's effective, but it's not efficient. Third, and the main point, if she doesn't do her job, WE have to do HER job plus OUR job too.

If we're going to have to answer the phones because "it's too many phone calls" then why is she even working here? We always answer the phone, and solve the problem over the phone, before we hang up. We don't even have to create a ticket for it and pass it to anyone, we solve it right then and there. And if another call comes in, it either rings over and someone else gets it (because there are three of us, and two of them), or it goes to voicemail. We are not near as concerned about actually answering the phone as she thinks we are. But she don't hear us complaining about how many tickets we have, and just stop doing them altogether. They're tickets - and they're phone calls. There is a queue for tickets, and there is a voicemail for phone calls. Everything will be handled in due time, and there is no reason to get stressed about any of it.

So my boss is going to take the phone calls all by himself for a day, and see just what the problem really is - if it's her, or if it's the volume of calls that she has to deal with. But he is probably going to have less difficulty than her, but a little more difficulty than the technicians might, due to skill sets.


Everyone has their job to do - when you can't do your job, everyone else has to pick up your slack. When you start doing jobs that aren't yours to begin with, and screw it up, you create addition work or rework. If you take on someone else's job for them, you have to do it right and effectively to keep things moving forward. I don't mind providing solutions and suggestions to the System Admin when he has to write scripts to call scripts to call scripts in order to do something that can be done in a Group Policy if there was just a little more thought given to it - that's what I do, think through all the different logical paths of a solution to find the most efficient and effective one. I think through the problem and identify just what the fears are and then find a failsafe for the solution that I have come up with to identify and solve the issue, and then do it. If it fails then there has been no set-back...if it works, we've moved forward.

I have found that I can only do something at the status-quo for so long, and then I get bored out of my mind, and either have to progress with my skillset or move on to something completely different. I've gotten to the point where I have learned a lot more about the code that makes the-spot.net work, but there is only so much I can do with that site before I'm actually done (for once) with the website. Then I have to move on.

BinaryAngel has been talking to me about a position at her job doing their IT work, because their currently employee is an international student and will be leaving soon. The problem with the job is that it's in Plano...just across the highway from Wizard's work. I can hope 2 trains and a bus and skateboard half a block into work to get there, but eventually I'll want to move up there. I'm about 80% ready to do that if I don't start seeing some kind of progress in pay+projects at my current location. I'm a Gemini - and I'm at that point in my life again where I get aggressively knowledgeable and start learning up everything around me, ready to break free from the stagnation that has gone on far too long by this point.

So something's about to change...
Blogged with the Flock Browser

5.13.2008

The Business of Business

I have some thoughts about organizational structure...something that goes along with the Corporate Environment rehash that I think should take place.

Over the limited years that I've actually been in a corporate environment, I have seen some things that I believe to be the fundamental source of all progressive inhibitions. Namely: hierarchical structure.

Now, I know there are CxOs and then Presidents, and then VPs, and then Managers, then Supervisors, and then workers...with each level having an inverse relationship of decision-making to people-responsible-for.

In my experiments with organizational structure, there is the initial structure that should be in place to train people in the way they should go. Once that mannerism has been instilled and displayed though, there is no longer a need to micromanage the individuals. They should be left to the collective conscience to make the right decisions, and innovate where necessary.

I think the younger generation of people entering the workforce has a reasonable grasp on what needs to take place in order for an organization to succeed - and while they may not conform to the manners and desires of the older generations - it's because they handle business differently.

When the older generation's superiors get together to start a project, there are meetings upon meetings to decide how the project should be carried out, and to try and cover all the bases, and get all the costs lined up, and the ducks in a row. That's a commendable effort - but it takes too long. It requires people's schedules to be synchronized, and progress is slow because of time limitations, and then when something unexpected arises, another meeting must be had.

When the younger generation gets together to start a project, there are still meetings, but they are not limited to being in person. In fact, it's usually preferred that there not be in-person meetings because not everyone needs to know everything about the project, an to waste time at meetings discussing that. Instead, they use simple, quick brainstorming exercises. They come to the table with ideas for how it could be done, and pitfalls that they could encounter. They throw them out there, let people rip apart or add to, and then take it home to chew on it for a while. And after another meeting or two, it's ready for action.

Perhaps it's because younger people tend to be a little more risky with their actions, or quicker to respond to mental challenges. But in any case, I think a department as innovative as IT should be, does not need to be stifled when it comes to freedom of operation. The real reason I see departments and companies fail to move quickly is not entirely because of size - but rather because of a generational gap between the people who are on the frontlines doing the work and up with the latest trends as compared to the generals of the forces that are commanding different units on their efforts.

There's a lot of trust involved in this particular style of management, but I don't see why it shouldn't be given a shot. There's a saying about the collective conscience on the internet that holds quite a bit of truth and application to it: "We is smarter than Me." I think a lot of businesses would benefit applying it to their processes.
Blogged with the Flock Browser

5.12.2008

Time for something new...

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