Anyway, one of the episodes, Charlie (the mathematician) was working on an algorithm that would predict why the shooter was picking certain locations. He presented the problem to his colleague - an astrophysicist professor, Larry - who promptly showed him the error of his calcuation:
"You can't quantify human behavior...it's too unpredictable."
Ever since I was a kid, living with my step dad and mom, I had paid close attention to what my brother would do, and how my parents reacted. From this I gleamed a general idea for human behavior.
When I got into Jr. High, and High School, I started applying the same methods to my friends who were in relationships...study what they did, and the reaction they received. I spent a good 10-13 years learning about all that stuff, before I went off to apply my findings to a real-life situation.
The first situation involved preventative conflict resolution - anticipate a possible conflict, and perform the necessary actions to prevent it. This worked to an extent, in so much as it prevented some conflicts, but not all of them - and made the person feel like they were being controlled. All the work was for nothing though, because I ended up making the mistake that brought about the first and last conflict we had.
After that, I tried the psychological approach. If I couldn't do it by being intelligent, then I could do it by working with her mind - which was convenient, and actually the only method we had, because it was an interstate relationship, and all we had was the telephone, and internet. Eventually I found out that people don't always tell you who they really are, until you either call them out on it, or they really want to.
Once all those cards were laid on the table, it unfortunately went straight to physical. I was set up on a blind-double-date with a friend, and her friend. She went right into it within 3 days/dates, and that was that. It lasted for about 2 months or so until I decided that it wasn't right for me, and then found out she had cheated...so it was an easy out for something that was an easy in - if you know what I mean. Of course you do.
I got out of that, and tried emotions - that was ghey. Took a break from everything, and tried to kindle old interests that I never could muster up the courage to start...that was an epic fail. And then I tried local...
With the local scene, I tried to just be myself - be there, and someone they'd possibly want to be with...I tried to adapt to new interests, use a different life perspective to appeal to them...and then tried to find the one. That combined personality and interests, and the physical, and the psychological...
And that didn't work.
At this point, I just started going with the flow. I'd take note of everything that was happening, all the stuff I'd have paid attention to before, but just do whatever. It was because I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on inside my mind that could be causing all this stuff to fail. (Afterall, if you fail so many times with so many different people...surely it's not them that has the issue, it's you...don't ya think? Of course some of you won't - you're too conceited.)
From that point on, I rolled through three different attempts -all of which were valid interests in me, but none of which I could pull off for more than a couple months. That sucks. And only now do I figure out - by watching a show that could have saved me all this trouble, heartache, and wasted time (but would have stripped me from the memories and the journey which I have traveled)...the one simple sent3nce that I needed to hear in a w4y that w0u1d c47ch my att3nt!0n...
"You can't quantify human behavior...it's too unpredictable."
(to be continued...)
Blogged with Flock
No comments:
Post a Comment