[[Neo]] 108

I'd have to say that I'm pretty much an introvert. Sure I can be social, hold a conversation, listen intently, and then spit back everything that you've ever said to me...often times holding people accountable for what they said they'd do (in passing). But there's more to it...

I go through my day listening to everyone's everything, and hearing their problems and proposed solutions. When I hear someone having a problem, I recall all the solutions that I have heard about similar issues in the past, and if they are at a loss, I step in. I let my ears wander in and out of nearly everything they can reach. I look into what people are actually telling each other, what they think they are experiencing, and what they feel like they are going through in their life.

It's easy for me to put myself in their shoes and walk around for a bit - it's part of being a Gemini...not that I believe in the Astrology business, but that they tend to be a good guideline for a person's personality. (using it to predict the future is for the birds though.)

But I digress. During the day though, I only have so much social mana that I can spend on being around people. If I'm around only one person, I only have to focus on what they're saying/doing/feeling...and I don't spend it all up, so I'm available to do a whole lot more with them, and more often. But when I'm around several people, like at a small party or a LAN Party, I am usually done by the time night falls. I've had to give my attention to several people at once, and my social mana is spent much quicker. By the end of the night, I'm quiet, and trying to recharge, enough to continue until the event is done. But events like QuakeCon where there are people that I do not have much relation with, who require attention on a massive level to form their perception of my personality in a matter of hours, I am usually spent after a couple hours with them, and ready to go home.

This is why I go home at night, and rarely do anything. I sit at home, alone in the dim light...usually cooling off, because I'm burning up, but just doing something by myself that I enjoy, or with close friends that I don't have to give my attention to constantly. I have to have a point in time where I can remove myself from the issues of the day, and relocate myself to a place I call home, in order to recenter my thoughts, and reset my attitude in preparation for the issues of the next day.

I use my time at the end of the day to reflect on everything that happened during the day - it's not uncommon for me to even recall something that was said at lunch that I did not react appropriately to, and I have to go back and do damage control or whatever is needed to show that I actually heard and cared about what was said, but that it was just buffered and delayed-writing to my brain. At night before I sleep, I think about the past, and think about the possibilities that could stem from the decisions and plans made from the day...once I have come to terms with everything that has happened, that uses up the last bit of brain activity that I have, and then I fall asleep.


There's a peek into the mind of [[Neo]] as he goes throughout the day. There are close friends that he's already in tune with that don't require much focus...and there are individuals that he hangs out with one-on-one that get all of his focus. Those are the people that end up meaning the most to him. When attention is divided among a small group, or a large group, their respective meaning in his life is proportionate. It's nothing personal...that's just the way he's built.