Something I learned growing up, was that if you tell someone you're going to do something, you had better bust your ass with everything in your ability having been tried before you go back on your word. A man's word is his livelihood.
Once I started learning that, I learned that you can't point out the speck of dust in your brother's eye, when you have a plank stuck in your own. Pull out the plank in your eye so you can better see how to remove the speck from your brother's.
Those two ideals combined are what drive me today. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, do something, or live a particular way - I bust my ass to make it happen, even if I don't want to when the time comes. Otherwise, I'm a liar.
Sure there are times when things come up, like you die or get sick or something. But generally, it's because someone more important on your priority list has requested the same block of time, for something they would like you to do...and you, favoring them more, cancel what you had previously said you'd do.
This weekend, I saw the results of 3 different tests I put on my friends. Two of those results were passing...one failed. I waited all week to see if BinaryAngel was actually going to invite me to hang out with her friends...to give me an address for the various locations that we were to be, and the times at which we were to meet. She did, and I was glad. The second test...to see if Sunny would stick with her plans to go out on Saturday night, or if she'd cancel at the last minute. We did go out, and we had a blast.
The third test will remain unnamed because the person failed. She said one thing, and her actions did another. It was something that I outwardly ignored and appeared not to notice - but saw everything. I always see everything...I always hear everything - and this time, I felt it beforehand.
I'm used to my friends canceling their plans on me. It's something I have come to expect when I schedule things. Generally I'm around people (in the past at least) that would like to schedule all these adventures and grand events, some for my website, some for being social. And when it came down to the last couple days before it, they would back out, citing some kind of family, money, or interest issue - throwing away all the time, thought, and money involved in the event.
So now, I don't care so much what people say to me - they're just words. When I am with someone I care about, I am equally as content, if not more, simply being with them, sitting together, quietly. I can tell what feelings are there by the things that they do...a simple hand-hold, sitting close, a smile...even just a particular sigh. All those things convey positive intent. Avoiding eye contact, poor posture, appearance of existence...even just a particular sigh. All those things are negative. So I try to spend time with people as much as I can, to see where they are with things. I only speak to learn information.
When they speak, I see their words in plain text - no colors, no imagery, little meaning. I see intentions, right through the mask of "carefully" arranged words...I see direction in the conversation, right through "carefully" obscured statements...and I feel their perception, through the slight and subtle body language movements. I look directly into your eyes, to read your very purpose.
It is for this reason, I do not consider what people say to me as being their purpose of character. I consider more carefully what it is that they do. Their actions are what define them...their words are what gives them color. I am not interested in the colors, I am more concerned with definitions. A black and white photo can convey just as much, or more, meaning than a color photo. A person who says nothing, but does right by those around them is a better person than one who says all the right things, but does not act in accord with their words.
What kind of person are you?
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